31 July 2009

I Think I'm in Love...

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

--Tom Robbins

THE most original author to come along since those folks that made up that bible... If you've not read him, you ain't read. Make ya think, laugh hard, and wonder what blessed karma he had to incur such an original Muse.
His metaphor and simile are so original that I can't think of anything original to compliment it on.

This quote is not typical of his novel writ. A friend of mine found this link of quotes from the man who was treated like a rock music Icon in his chosen home of the Pacific Northwest [United States].

One of the more potent, or pertinent, things I read into the words is we only 'search' if we are incomplete, but the futility of it... [Reminds me of that drawing from M.C. Escher, the stairs or whatever... but let me end digression here--]


The one we are searching is NOT going to complete us; only WE are individually capable of completing the task, pun intended.

I'd really like you to opine in here, folks. What do ya think?

Ever read the man? What of this "series polygamy" statement?-- I think he meant polyamorous via a string of monogamous bents.

Anyhow-- I love the man's writing, his novels [hey, any book titled FIERCE INVALIDS HOME FROM HOT CLIMATES wins merit on title alone! Ha!
And I wanna know what you think of his quote...

Slainte, People.

Cygnus

11 comments:

Kyddryn said...

I am wondering if series polygamy could also be akin to serial monogamy -dating, being with, one after another, one at a time, because so often that's what's expected of us...to have only one, besides ourselves. And, being raised in our current society, most of us don't think ourselves enough, and are conditioned to look outside our own sphere for fulfillment.

Perhaps, too, he is alluding to that age-old thought that one cannot be loved, truly, until one loves one's self...and, too, one cannot love truly until one knows what it is to be loved...or maybe I'm just going round in circles, like Escher's poor victims, always going up, up, up, around, around, around...dizzying and futile...

Food for thought.

I know the author's name, but have not had occasion to read his work...I shall have to remedy that.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Felinae said...

Hey there, my sweet friend

First off let me say Excellent post.

I have not read Tom Robbins works, other than a few of his quotes.

Now about the quote...I think he nailed it spot on.

I believe what he is trying to say is that one will never be happy/satisfied in any monogamous relationship until they search within themselves and find what it is that will fulfill them make them happy, feel worthy.

Until they can fix themselves, they will continue to seek out various partners as a sort of panacea thinking that they are being fulfilled when in reality all they are doing is masking the real problem.

Basically, you are responsible for your own happiness.

Hugs and Love
~Felinae~

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

"Perhaps, too, he is alluding to that age-old thought that one cannot be loved, truly, until one loves one's self"

Bingo, Kydd-o!

C.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Thank You, Lady Felinae...

"I have not read Tom Robbins works"

You SHOULD. the universe will positively never be the same! ha!

"Basically, you are responsible for your own happiness."

We are indeed, M'Lady of the Feline persuasion...

Thank you for everything post-Jeanie, Lady...

Cygnus

Not The Rockefellers said...

Wow...that Tom Robbins quote...I have that written down in one of my journals.

Love that man.
Skinny Legs and All one of my favorites..

He just lays out his soul... my soul, butterflies it and sets it on fire...

getting back to that quote..and filling in that empty pocket..let's just call it what it is "serial infidelity"...
is it really about filling the pocket? is it really about finding the he or she that completes you?
Speaking for myself, I enjoy the hunt.I love the thrill of it.
It excites me and makes me feel alive. I don't think I am alone in that. I don't necessarily want to capture, I just love the dance.
It makes me feel ALIVE.
That's the key word.
And to quote Dylan Thomas...

"Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night".



Thank you for the food for thought, Sir...

Peace - Rene

Sarah said...

Hi hon,
I always find your posts thought provoking. Those words are very accurate. It seems that as I have gotten older..I get the whole..accept him as he is thing and love him like I did in the beginning..different but just as wonderful. We spent many years blaming and fighting over lost expectations. I think maybe just maybe we have found that relationship sweet spot. I sure hope so. Great post hon, Sarah

Sylvia said...

Dear Cygnus, I'm going to say something different here, but don't be surprised. I also enjoyed the hunt, those games of seduction, and had several relationships in my search for the twin-soul. Many disgraceful, many glorious ones. The fact is, if you want to believe me, that we have effectively the possibility of finding THAT love, the one and only. In my experience, I have. Of course nobody is perfect, everybody has ups and downs. But there is a sense of sharing ups and downs, an unbreakable bond that defines it. And it doesn't really fit in words :)

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

You aren't alone, Lady Rene. Play... too much play in relationships gets replaced by comfort or complacency or...

[And is Dylan quoting Dickens here, or just hauntingly echoing her? Former, I'm sure... Sorry-- too many lit classes! ha!]

Half Asleep and Fierce Invalids for me, on Robbins...

Thanks, Lady Rene...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Glad you enjoyed it, Lady Sarah!

I think one of the keys to making a relationship last long-term is KNOWING that the newness and... all that.. will fade, and being okay with it. Build a friendship while the puppy romance is still blazing, and you have something to stand on later...

Thanks for your comment, Lady!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

I hear you, Sylvia...

But I think we can also BUILD the 'perfect love' versus expecting to find it. And we do that first by completing our self, then adding love for more fullness...

I think!! ha!

Thanks for the visit, lady S...

Shadow said...

never a truer word spoken. fulfil yourself. else you cannot fulfil another...