06 April 2009


" How many days I've been too close to tears
Dread worry permeating every pore
When days turn into weeks, then months to years
A greyness shrouds all sunshine from my core

Turn first to family-- they're no longer there
least not a part of any world I know
So fractured cries unto the heavens: "WHERE?!"
Their silence seems a final, crushing blow.

In total emptiness, continue on
Not ready to cross over, be that free;
Still something here I know I'm called to do
I have to will the greyness fade, let Dawn
Evaporate that shield of misery:

by jMc aka Cygnus 24 Aug 2008

Health and farewell!



SunTiger said...

The idea: "Not ready to cross over" . . . are we ever truly ready?

People with terrible bodily diseases often fight for life until the last minute of letting go. In contrast those who get clinically depressed probably know the dread of waking up and thinking "Crap. I'm still alive." Meanwhile -- since their body lives on (even when, emotionally, they want to "go") it makes me wonder if we living creatures are ever truly "ready" for such change.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

very good point, Lady. I am definitely of the clinging-on-to-dear-life variety. Never been an iota of suicidal (not talking down on it as an issue at all); that's what this line is for me.
I've seen despair--hell, we all have. And I'll feel it again, certain.
Else I'm not ALIVE.

Thanks for the input, SunTiger!

Sidhe said...

This flows effortlessly. I'm really impressed with your use of rhyme.

I like! I like!


Cygnus MacLlyr said...

I recall the fig tree I watched countless birds perch in, coming from the lush branches to the bath-full of seed halfway between the tree and screened porch I sat on with tablet in hand.

Life was in a shambled pause...

Pretty ocular view.


Thank the Goddess of Hope, whoever She be...

Sidhe said...

A shambled pause.

That is gorgeous.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

As are you, My Lady.